Little Enos Burdette

From:  Smokey and The Bandit - 1977 Big Enos: Son, you're looking at a legend. Little Enos: I guess a legend and an out-of-work bum look a lot a like, daddy. Little Enos Burdette has thrown his big hat into the ring.  He says that he is tailor made for the Rocco Valentino role and that he and Big Enos are the perfect pairing to buy and operate OPW.  Big Enos can run the company and do all of the work while Little Enos exploits the female students and female wrestlers.  Big Enos can be the announcer and Little Enos be the 175 pound heavyweight champion and booker.  Little Enos says, "Hell, Daddy, I won't even have to buy new wrestling tights.  The same yellow trunks that the other guy has been wearing for the past 9 years will fit me just fine."

Hollywood Doc Buffwell It is empirical fact that Hollywood Doc Buffwell is the finest scientific wrestler since Lou Theiz.  His professional acting skills as seen in Witchcraft 10 (1999) and Immortal Combat (1994) the film he wrote, produced and acted in..... getting killed by Roddy Piper and co-starring with Tiny Lister (Zeus) ......have caused critics to discribe his method acting as Shakespearean with Buffwell possibly being the next Sir John Gielgud. It therefore is a natural segue for the good doctor to play his favorite Indy wrestler, Rocco Valentino.  Hollywood had so many disparaging  comments about Rocco's small physique and lack of wrestling skills that it seems proper that Buffwell show us his interpretation of the most despised Indy wrestler in and out of the ring in Oklahoma!

I am Crusher Crowbar and I want to throw my mask in the ring, metaphorically speaking!   I have characteristics similar to the punk that played Rocco Valentino before.   I am fat and broke down.....but I got that way from too many trips to McDonalds, not from years of anabolic steroid abuse.   I am balding and gray like the guy who played him before, but I never sold illegal drugs and I have never been accused of sexual assault or spousal abuse.   I was a good amateur wrestler like the guy who played him before, but unlike him, I am not an egotistical maniacal piece of crap that steals from people.   I also go to church like the guy that played him before, but unlike him, I go to worship, not be worshipped.   I hang around with men my age, not pubescent pro wrestling wanna-bees half my age.   Gee whiz and merciful heavens, I may just have to completely reinvent the character to make him palatable.

I want to play Rocco Valentino because I already make a squisito clam sauce (autant de tetes, autant d'avis) and the yellow tights and knee pads would get me over with the arena rats and the female student wrestlers!

Meet the Puerto Rican Ninja! He hails from Little Ponce in Spanish Harlem, New York  and is the first entrant in the You Could  Be The Next Rocco Valentino Contest. When asked how he would make everyone despise him, he answered,  "I will wrestle in my own promotion and always have the boys put me over,  even if they are bigger, stronger and better wrestlers than I am."  This sounds like a good plan for the Ninja.  This strategy has worked well for others in the past.